Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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