i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
