listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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