I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
