I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
