no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
