i think i have herpe
just one?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
