You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize