My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
