Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she told me i tasted like america
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
