i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
