I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize