we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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