This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
