so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
