I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
sex in a hospital.. check
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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