I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize