His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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