hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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