nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
