Porn is love you can see.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
