What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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