Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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