i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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