He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i came on her dog
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
