I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
