THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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