yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize