I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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