Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
