I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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