i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
