I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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