PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We have started to decorate penises.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
