After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
