..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
