Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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