New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
