Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
