I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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