grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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