Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
