Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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