I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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