On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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