Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize