There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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