for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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