For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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