I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
