rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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