i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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