Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
