Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
