i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
