shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
