You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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