just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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