he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
