So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
